Gay culture meets traditional lifestyle: Q and A with Madian Al Jazerah

John Goodrick's picture

With the United States seeing an increase in states that allow same-sex marriage, it seems that things are going pretty well for the LGBT community. Not only does the legalization of gay marriage allow LGBT individuals to be wed, but it also validates the community by accounting for their rights in our constitution. However, LGBT individuals in many countries around the world do not have the same luxury of being “out of the closet” the way we do in the United States. For example, most LGBT people in the Arab world face serious discrimination and persecution in their communities due to traditional values. I wanted to get the perspective of an openly gay Jordanian named Madian Al Jazerah to get his viewpoint on what it’s like to be gay in the Middle East.

My skype interview with him seeks to reveal the challenges and hardships facing the gay community and what it is like to live in Jordan as an openly gay man.  

Madian Al Jazerah is a man who, despite social pressure, does not hide his homosexuality in the traditional, Islamic culture of Jordan. He has lived in both the United States and Jordan and has dedicated his life to standing up for minorities, whether it is the gay community or the economically disadvantaged. He is most well known for his popular cafe called Books@Cafe. Although it is not a “gay” cafe and is frequented by both straight and gay individuals, it is the only business in Amman where gay people can openly express themselves.

 

The Arab world has harsher penalties for homosexual acts than any other region on the planet.

The Arab world has harsher penalties for homosexual acts than any other region on the planet. Learn more here. Wikimedia Commons: Silje

 

Tell me a little bit about yourself and what made you want to be open about your sexuality:

It wasn’t a decision to come out, I just didn’t think it was an issue for me to come out or not. I used to live in San Francisco and I lived in the US for many years. I went to university there, worked there, and then after the Gulf war, my parents moved to Jordan. I moved back here as well from the US after being gay bashed in San Francisco. And I opened the cafe (Books@Cafe) and I think it is everything that I did in the cafe, that I did subconsciously, that indicated to people that I was a gay man. And then it was just assumed that I was a gay man, I don’t remember coming out.

 

Tell me a little bit about Books@Cafe...

Books@Cafe is my mirror.  I found myself through Books@Cafe.

I’m an architect. I designed it in a way that was just humble and comfortable and (I) never knew I was an activist or a rebel until I had Books@Cafe... Books@Cafe for me has become my haven and has become a lot of people’s haven, it’s for everybody it’s not a gay cafe... and the gay community has found it as a haven as well; I guess because I’m a gay man and I never hid it. 

 

Has Books@Cafe been received well or has it been a point of tension among the population?

There are a lot of people who support us; a lot of NGOs, diplomatic entities, and big folk but there’s much more who don’t understand me, [who] don’t understand what homosexuality is, and don’t understand what liberal thinking is that hate me. So its easy to say that there are a lot more people who wish I were dead or wish that the cafe was blown up than there would be people who supported it. We are in a conflict zone / not everyone appreciates a liberal attitude and especially homosexuality. 

 

What do you think is the perception, in general, of the LGBT community, is there a difference in generations, for example, do younger generations tend to be more accepting?

Yes, this younger generation is quite impressive. More of them are coming out, fearless; I love that. I’m getting more cases of these young men having problems with their families but that’s only because they’re fearless and they’re coming out and they’re just not willing to hide, so that is very excited. And it’s great because it starts to expose a lot of people. Some of my gay waiters who are not hiding anything [have] dealt with a lot of the homophobic stuff that I have. It’s just- you’re supposed to be homophobic. And then they start to interact (with openly gay people) and then they realize that’s not the case.... The younger generation is definitely a lot more liberal, the older generation are the ones who are the problem because they are the ones that still live with the old mentality. Especially the closeted gay community, a lot of the troubles I’ve had were from them. I haven’t really had that much trouble from the straight community.

 

Honor killings used to be prevalent in Jordan with homosexuals.  Is that still a pressing issue?

No, not anymore. I think because the queen really worked hard on adjusting these laws.... So now it’s considered a murder, a premeditated murder not just a crime of passion. That’s really brought the numbers down, so people just really don’t run around killing people because they think that their honor is at stake; however, it doesn’t mean that people aren’t being beaten up. Actually we just had a well to do TV and radio figure who is Lebanese, called Mazin Deyab, who, unfortunately my stories are unofficial and will never be official. You know, the guy was beat and tied up and gagged. He was busted sleeping with the brother of somebody, and the brother was busted he didn’t know how to cover it up so he said 'he seduced me by giving me alcohol and then he raped me.' So the brother and three other people came into the house and they beat him up and they gagged him and the guy died. Stuff like that still happens here and there’s a big uproar and then it suddenly it goes quiet. This is the fourth person that I personally know that has been killed that way. Whether it’s a beating or a theft, it’s always related to him being gay. There’s always a blackmail thing or they’re always looking down like, ‘so what if he dies he’s not worth living, this is a gay man’. So no worries on crimes of passion or crimes of honor, but then we still have that going on.

 

Have you experienced any discrimination?

No. Not active discrimination, no. 

I’ve gotten name called quite a few times in my cafe. I mean I lost a job with Royal Jordanian airlines years ago over being a gay man... But that’s a long time ago, I had to gain my power by being successful.

 

How have friendships been affected by you being open, or hasn’t it been affected?

No, it has been affected, it has. There are a lot of people that I used to know that I grew up with that I don’t talk to because they don’t talk to me. There are a lot of people that I used to help out so much with connections, you know, and there was a problem once where I was suddenly outed even more. These people, the same people that I helped, would bad mouth me... and stopped talking to me. And all of that was painful then but it doesn’t affect me now; I mean it does, that stuff always hurts, but I’m used to dealing with it now.

 

So overall in Jordan, do you think that the understanding of LGBT individuals is improving?

Yeah, I mean, improving is a big word. We, not me alone, a bunch of people from Beirut and Cairo and Tunisia, were working very hard to promote the new language and vocabulary in Arabic for sexuality and gender and I’m very proud of that because for years we went out to every conference and the speaker called us perverts, so now after these years you seldom hear the word pervert we’re now called homosexuals. It’s an improvement.

 

You’re working toward using the word homosexual.  There was no word in Arabic before meaning homosexual?

You were either a ‘fucker,’ and the other word was ‘pervert.’

 

Does homophobia vary depending on your location in Amman?

I don’t have a problem with the “less to do” and the people from the Eastern side of Amman. These people are still the old Jordanians and the old Middle Easterners who actually don’t have a problem with homosexuality. It’s the Westerners, the ones who have been exposed to the West and exposed to the rest of the world, (they) are the one’s who are homophobic. Those are the people who I think are the problem and for these people the more the word homosexual comes out the more homophobic they become. Whereas on the other side (in East Amman), the more the word homosexual comes out, the more they come out and say, ‘so what’s the big deal?’ They really think that their sexualities are fluid.

 

What do you think causes that difference?

Because sexuality, natural sexuality, in the Arab world and in the Mediterranean has always been fluid. There has always been more intimacy between the same gender. And that has created intimacy and love and ultimately sex. I can’t tell you there are many people I’ve become close friends with who are straight. And then when you talk to them about it, they don’t see it as a homosexual act. They would say, ‘what do you mean gay, I love you, what are you talking about?’

 

So it’s more the label that people seem to be afraid of?

Yes. In Western Amman, it’s the label issue.

 

Do you see more rights for the LGBT community in Jordan, such as marriage?

Yeah, that’ll be a while. There are no laws here that criminalize homosexuality or homosexual acts, but there are a couple bi laws that talk about public indecency and anything that would tarnish the morals and values or this Islamic culture. What is liberal to me in my neighborhood is not liberal in another neighborhood, which prevents us from being protected. So [right now] there is no law that criminalizes us, but there is no law that protects us.

 

LGBT flag map of Jordan Wikimedia Commons: Fry1989

LGBT flag map of Jordan Wikimedia Commons: Fry1989

 

 

 

 

John Goodrick is the Middle Eastern Culture and Politics Editor for Wandering Educators