We’ve entered the seasons of Virgos, Libras, and Scorpios. The times when school doors are open, summer frolicking turns to autumnal leaf peeping, months for those who are already yearning for next summer and those who welcome the arrival of the onslaught of pumpkin spice everything. Our calendars have landed in the fourth quarter of the year. Ready or not, here we are. How are you handling it all?
As summer’s heat and humidity turn to autumn’s colorful sunsets and inevitable falling of leaves, we too begin a transition towards the year-end festivities. We slide into planning mode, the kind when we maneuver through meet ups and schedules and playdates and practices and holidays, gatherings, and vision boards, and it feels like one minute it’s October and the next it’s New Years. Somehow, we forget to breathe and be where our feet are through it all.
What if we stopped for a minute and took stock of today? What if before the school year takes the reins and it’s full speed ahead, we remember our whys, who we are…and that no matter what, we can be unapologetically ourselves?
When the 31st of August hits midnight (in Costco at least), it seems to become Halloween and Christmas in the blink of an eye. One moment ice cream is dripping down your arm and the next you’re flung into holiday overload as if the world refused to stand still and if you try you might literally fall off. As we launch from the free-spirited self of summer’s frivolity into the calendar flip of the school year’s frenzy of activity, can we ensure we remain our authentic self even when everything shouts otherwise?
Can we remind ourselves and our next gen humans that we can be where our feet are and stay true to our hearts even when the world turns at seemingly warp speed? Can we take the lead and refuse to let anyone dull our sparkle?
All of us recently lost a true sparkle legend: Dolly Parton. This one of one, kind heart who contained multitudes touched us all with her kindness, grace, grit, talent, tenacity, and joy. She lived a life that wowed us constantly…and most importantly, showed us how to human. She continues to be a legendary gift who refused to be anything other than exactly who she was. A life lesson in being your authentic self, this musical giant shared her heart often, employed her boundaries to keep pieces of her life for herself and her closest confidants, and always, always made sure to leave spaces and people better than she found them.
Librarian of Congress Carla Hayden and Dolly Parton unveil "Coat of Many Colors," the one hundred millionth book donated by Parton's nonprofit Imagination Library, during a ceremony in the Great Hall, February 27, 2018. Photo by Shawn Miller, Wikimedia Commons
Can we honor that legacy as we honor ourselves? Can we jump into the swarm of dates, deadlines, and duties while retaining our genuine selves?
We can remind the students of today and the ones of tomorrow that putting in the effort, giving your all, and every extra bit of grit does not have to come at the cost of who we are. We can hold our truths, stand up for ourselves, lean into our joys, and still do the work we’re called to or need to do.
In this season of full calendars, hefty schedules, and weeks that zoom by, we can strive for the next thing, the next rung, or the next project while maintaining who we are. Dolly reminds us, “whoever you are…be that.”
Wherever you are, whatever your next, celebrate you, your whys, your purpose, your energy, your heart, and your efforts.
Remember, while you hustle or stumble, grind or fly, trudge along or surge ahead, hold tight to the passions and projects that fill you up, stay true to yourself and the things that matter to you, and remember that you are the author of your own story.
You matter; you are enough. Let your sparkle light your journey and show others the way to their own. ‘Tis the season, friends. Sparkle on!
When no one is watching
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” ~ Dolly Parton
There are Disney songs about character counting, stories about trees falling in forests, and quotes about how much it matters what you do when no one else is watching.
Your character, kindness, and authenticity have a higher value than pretty much anything else we do. It’s the stuff we don’t get credit for, the things that don’t come with the standing ovation, and the hard stuff that sometimes society calls losing but our personal story knows is a medal all its own. Being your authentic self isn’t for the faint of heart. It has costs outsiders can’t see, comes with doubts and difficulties and facing fears, but in itself is worth its weight in gold.
Whether it’s The Greatest Showman’s portrayal of PT Barnum, Disney's Brave’s Merida, or the zillions of real-life stories we see on stage, screen, and in the streets, sometimes being your own true self is hard…yet the other option often feels far worse. Sometimes we feel it all the way to our toes from an early age, like the fashion designer Max Alexander, who at age four declared himself a designer. Launching his own collection, Couture To The Max, with the help of his Mom, he’s now graced the stages of Paris Fashion Week and has carved his place in the Guiness Book of World Records. Sometimes, it’s the zillionaire sports star who quietly takes care of the medical bills for strangers, sometimes it’s the unpopular high schooler who stands up to the loud bully in defense of a peer, and sometimes it’s the outreached hand of a society-declared enemy who is the one who shows up when the world turns dark. And, sometimes we follow our hearts in our 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, or even as a centenarian and refuse to let the world tell us otherwise.
Dr. Seuss reminds us “why fit in when you were born to stand out.” Since, as he says, “There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”, be yourself. Seriously, the world will figure it out, and if they don’t, do it anyway. You 100% are worth it, and if you’re not ready to see it, borrow our faith in you until you can. We’re behind you every step of the way.
Do your big, hard, scary thing
“You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.” ~ Dolly Parton
Whether your go to gurus are Mel Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, or Dr. Laurie Santos, each in their own way urges their audience to try new things. One rebuilt her life from the ground up in her 50s; one continues to pivot and shatters records in her 70s, engaging new listeners and fans at every turn and recently turning to Vegas’s Sphere to impact even more curious minds to encourage their own ‘aha moment’; and the other schools some of the brightest minds in and out of the classroom to do the thing that make you happy even if it scares you.
Within the last few months and days, the world has watched extraordinary female athletes conquer epic feats, each, in one’s words, doing ‘their big scary thing.’ Kelsey Pfendler recently became the first American and youngest to ever row from California to Hawaii (in her boat named Lily!). She vlogged the entire way through hallucinations, five-minute sleep stints, a conversation with a friendly bird who kept her company and another with a Chinese sailor who radioed to make sure she was okay out there. Upon her port arrival, she was embraced by a resounding aloha. Kelsey rowed her way into our hearts and the history books.
Within the last week, Catherine Breed hopped out of the waters in Coronado, California becoming the first ever to swim the full 900-mile length of California from Oregon to Mexico. Empowering women and young girls to do their thing, focus on human-powered adventure, inclusion in sports and life, and protecting the ecosystem we all hold dear, she conquered her 111-day challenge which included GPS markers, sleeping on a boat, and strict rules (one being she could never touch the boat while swimming), all with grit, grace, a team, and a desire to do the thing that powered her home.
And within the past few days, Canadian cliff diver Molly Carlson became the first woman to free dive off of a freestanding iceberg off the Newfoundland coast. Her why? To inspire others to showcase their whole self, share what’s beneath the surface as well as that which is seen above, and to take care of their mental health along the epic journey of being human.
Photo: Molly Carlson Facebook / Mason Mashon
Each a tour de force performance of their own making, three young women challenged themselves so we can challenge ourselves. They took to the waters, pushed through the doubts, faced their fears, and blazed new trails. If they can do their ‘big hard scary thing’, we can do ours. Find yours and get out there!
How travel brings out the you in you
“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” ~ Dolly Parton
Beyond the likes of avocados and dark chocolate, my vice is travel. A group tour to Israel lit the fuse and it has only burned brighter since. Whether solo travel, flying on your own to meet up with a group of strangers on a tour, or taking the hand of friends to adventure in a land unknown, travel forces you beyond your own borders, smashes your own doubts, and encourages us to be who we really and truly are.
It shows us where we lean, which tugs take hold and which we shrug off, the things that set our souls on fire, and the ones we say yes to even when we’re scared. Travel winds us through actual laneways and alleyways and personal paths and pivots. And sometimes, on our own Eat, Pray, Love expeditions, we find a whole new life.
While we’re not all privy to the explorations the likes of Ernest Shackleton, we can bust open our comfort doors and fling ourselves into the discomfort. We can meet someone new in our own neighborhood, hit up a different culture’s restaurant, or say yes to a new adventure beyond our post code.
How many of us have sat on a beach, in a cafe, or a local’s living room on a holiday or vacation and thought “I could so see myself here.” Whether life logistics make that possible or not, the unfolding of the follow through is up to you. Take the message, shift the perspective, find your true self and share it with the world. If Elsa can hear that “you are the one you’ve been waiting for all of your life,” we, too, can show ourselves. The journey, however, is up to you.
Start walking, friends. See you out there!
Please click the photo below for a collection of my Through the Eyes of an Educator columns:
Stacey Ebert, the Wandering Educators Educational Travels Editor, is a traveler at heart who met her Australian-born husband while on a trip in New Zealand. Stacey was an extracurricular advisor and taught history in a Long Island public high school for over fifteen years, enjoying both the formal and informal educational practices. After a one year 'round the world honeymoon, travel and its many gifts changed her perspective. She has since left the educational world to focus on writing and travel. She is energetic and enthusiastic about long term travel, finding what makes you happy and making the leap. In her spare time she is an event planner, yogi, dark chocolate lover, and spends as much time as possible with her toes in the sand.
Check out her website at thegiftoftravel.wordpress.com for more of her travel musings.