“In the end, we’ll all become stories” - Margaret Atwood
I taught high school social studies for well over a decade. Then, I regularly watched whatever local, national, or global event happening - elections, mega speeches, Olympics, Superbowl, or awards ceremony. Whatever it was, someone was bound to want to chat or share a story about it the next morning.
In today’s world, sometimes that’s the CliffNotes version of the thing somewhere on social media or finding a clip online, ditching the commercials and dialing in for those moments between the noise. Enter this year’s Oscars, and particularly the In Memoriam section. According to the commentators, although it sounds like the biggest oxymoron possible, this might have been the most well-done segment in Oscars history. I know it sounds awful, yet I think, perhaps, it’s a glimmer into the world of how stories are told, the relationships formed with the ones who bring them to life, the ones who make space for new arrivals, and even the retelling of old ones reimagined.
The entire awards show is a magnet for frenetic energy. Amidst a sea of who’s who type humans, on a night of get up galore, speeches aplenty, a showcase of stories, and the tension of a will I or won’t I moment - that segment makes us all sit up, take notice, reflect, pay homage, and feel to the depths of our core.
This year, sadly, the magnitude of the moment was larger than many. This year, the stories behind these humans reached far, wide, deep, and into every fiber of the community of movies and well beyond their grasp.
Billy Crystal comes from the city by the sea I called home for a decade. A fan from way back when, and an even stronger one since our boardwalk-loving home was hit by 2012’s Hurricane Sandy, on Oscar night The Princess Bride’s Miracle Max executed a spectacle of heart and humanity on a global stage. Between words of love that stirred the soul and the army of actors behind him celebrating the impactful, legendary works of the great Rob Reiner, he created a moment that touched the hearts of humans beyond the theater. Rachel McAdams brought the audience to tears with her depiction of a life well lived of the ‘singular talent’ Diane Keaton. And the icon herself, Barbara Streisand, told of a union of two and the gifts of Sundance brought to light and life by the one and only Robert Redford.
Amidst the hubbub of it all, the mic drop moment of this section solidified how the stories we create and share affect millions. Behind Billy Crystal, a group of mega stars showing solidarity with their friend. Each one of them came from one portion of the Reiner collective story, a different chapter of movie making, friendship, growth, and life. There on stage, the people demonstrated those various portions of a life well-lived, one that reached far beyond the screens with a lasting effect beyond measure.
This week, four life stories were forever changed as the crew of Artemis II launched into space and the history books. Four humans, four different stories, creating an extraordinary impact…some entering a chapter of their lives they never thought possible. Could they as young people have imagined being a part of this journey? Consider each of these astronauts, or those actors, when we met them, what edition of their life story are they in? How many plot twists have they gone through to get to where we meet them today?
Now, consider your own story. What’s your present version?
Sometimes, the most interesting people we meet are on their umpteenth edition of themselves. The story they tell winds through various careers, different homes or cities, tragedy and triumph, resilience and reinvention, and heaps of humans…some they haven’t yet met. Along the way, there are people who knew them at only one of those stages, and others who watched the transformation, and are still along for the ride. Aside from our siblings, cousins, and perhaps the neighborhood kids down the block, most humans we encounter are in the midst of creating their story; we show up somewhere along the way. Yet, somehow, as we shift through our education and formative life journey, we think we have to have the whole book written on day one. Seriously?
What if we flipped the script - literally?
What if we realized we can design a life of chapters, versions, volumes, stories, and plot twists?
What if we showed up fully present in each, learned to be okay with one ending and another beginning, enjoyed each portion, and held each on its own merits? What if we crafted a story that screamed multi-hyphenate or multi-faceted, embraced curiosity as we wind along life’s paths, and brought all we meet along for the adventure?
What if we remembered that our story is ours to tell, ours to create, and ours to change? Movie producers leave ideas behind on the cutting room floor, authors fling in a plot twist we least expected or kill a character they intended to live, and entrepreneurs alter their lives daily. Your story can wiggle, change direction, and leave others wondering. It’s not only allowed, it’s crucial to growth.
Life is rarely ever lived in one straight line.
Wherever you are in your life journey, give yourself permission to show up fully. Remember you can turn the page, write a new chapter, fling the book out the window, and start over whenever you choose. There’s no one way to do life. There’s no one way to tell a story. The world needs your voice, your version, your way. Write, edit, revise often.
We can’t wait to see what you do next.
Tips to narrate your stories and navigate chapters
“It’s your story honey. Feel free to hit them with a plot twist whenever you want” – Unknown
Be unapologetically you
“Tell your story with your whole heart” - Brene Brown
On a long-ago episode of Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives, I watched a chef shift his story from the chilly Windy City to the dry Arizona heat. His tagline for why he moved and built his new restaurant where he did, “you don’t have to shovel sunshine.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used that line as part of our reasoning for moving from New York to San Diego.
There’s power in being totally you; there’s a freedom in discovering, living your truth, and sharing it with others. Your bright light might make others uncomfortable. Shine anyway. Perhaps it’s in your view of the world, the way you show up for your humans, or the space you make for others. Perhaps it’s in your joy or your zest, your sparkle or compassion, your willingness to step into a room you’ve never before explored, or your desire to try something new and be a beginner for the first time.
Perhaps it’s a curiosity for more, your ability to do it afraid, or your diligence in listening to mentors and experts and then taking the risk and entering the arena. Whether you’re starting a new chapter, learning a new craft, launching a new business, or at the place where one door closes and another opens, if you can be unapologetically you, you’ve already succeeded. The rest is icing on the cake.
Whatever chapter you’re in, be all in
“Breathe, darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story” - S.C. Lourie
As a teenager, I was a mother’s helper, a volunteer, and worked in a law office. Later, I taught swimming, worked in summer camps, and led youth groups. In the land before trying to find my feet at university, I might have identified with all of these various versions of myself, yet I hadn’t even stepped into the world beyond my home. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought the anxious child would become an avid traveler. As our stories unfold, we get to decide the direction. Any good story has to start and build before it can fly. Perhaps, the hero’s journey or the human one is the same.
With each year, each decade, each quarter of life, we go through chapters and changes. Sure, we might all know people who have never changed at all, but more likely, we’ve interacted with people who have various chapters in their life story. Some work out, some leave their mark, and others quite literally make us into who we are. The toddler who loves to cook becomes the culinary marvel, the young dreamer becomes the head of an NGO, or the high school soccer phenom goes on to coach others to leave it all on the field.
Sometimes forces beyond our control throw us a curveball and we have to decide what to do next, through the hard, through the tears, or through the angst. Whether you’re in a part of the story you wish to change, one you love with your whole heart, one you’re a little nervous about, or one that feels completely unfamiliar yet totally necessary, can you be all in?
Can you show up with full presence, share your full of life energy, and own your story? Even while dreaming of your next challenge, can you be where your feet are right now? Your move.
Learn to edit often
“Every new beginning comes from other beginning’s end” - Seneca
Consider your favorite book. Think the author wrote it in one go? While we’d all like to think we get it 100% correct on the first go, the truth of the matter is that anything exceptional takes time, effort, energy, and often, a team of brains to bring it to fruition.
Anne Lamott and Neal Allen, giants of the writing world, recently released a new book, Good Writing, on how to craft better sentences. These master wordsmiths still work to hone their talents and remind us how vital the practice of editing is on the page, in the book, and in life. Can we learn to edit often?
Mikaela Shiffrin couldn’t say enough about her ski team village that helped her on her journey. Lindsay Vonn acknowledged all the medical talents behind her recovery. Simone Biles credits her weekly therapy sessions with having game-changing effects on her continued comeback. While we don’t all have Olympic aspirations, our stories are equally amazing, take work, risk, and the ability to learn to edit often. Some people in our lives stay for a chapter and change the whole story; others show up and don’t make it to the next part of the expedition.
Whether it’s a friendship, a business relationship, a career track, or the geographic spot we’re located, sometimes the best thing we can do to level up our game is to edit the script.
It takes courage to look at our story with open eyes and make a change. It takes grit and guts to say I’m open to more even if I don’t know what it looks like yet. It takes emotional maturity to get feedback from trusted companions, listen, and shift the narrative. In one of his many iconic roles, Tom Hank’s A League of Their Own character decries, “It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.” It won’t be easy; it will be empowering. It’s up to you.
Plot twists make intriguing stories
“Life is like a book: some chapters are sad, some happy and some exciting. But if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter holds” - Unknown
What would you do if money didn’t matter, you were unbothered by the expectations of others, your definition of success was the only one that mattered, and you could live and work however you chose?
How would you show up in the world if you could stop what you’re doing, scream ‘plot twist’, and in a puff of smoke, your reimagined life would be here? Would it look exactly the same as your present? What would you change? While we delight in the magic the likes of Harry Potter and his Hogwarts mates, we don’t have to be actual wizards to change our stories.
Plot twists can come in the shape of a new approach, a new place to call home, a new endeavor, a new career, a new start, a new choice, a new connection. They show how we navigate risk, how we deal with disappointment, how we negotiate fear, and how we lean into curiosity. Plot twists can be active - our choice to change our stars, or circumstances beyond our control that shapeshift and wiggle until we take hold of the reins and make it a part of our story.
Whether you’ve decided to leap into the unknown, been dealt a hand you never expected, or have finally said, ‘it’s time’ and are rewriting the script, know the power is in your hands, your attitude is within your control, and even if you’re scared, you’ll never know what could be until you try.
Turn the page, your story continues.
“Our stories come from our lives and from the playwright’s pen, the mind of the actor, the roles we create, the artistry of life itself and the quest for peace” - Maya Angelou
Please click the photo below for a collection of my Through the Eyes of an Educator columns:
Stacey Ebert, our Educational Travels Editor, is a traveler at heart who met her Australian-born husband while on a trip in New Zealand. Stacey was an extracurricular advisor and taught history in a Long Island public high school for over fifteen years, enjoying both the formal and informal educational practices. After a one year 'round the world honeymoon, travel and its many gifts changed her perspective. She has since left the educational world to focus on writing and travel. She is energetic and enthusiastic about long term travel, finding what makes you happy and making the leap. In her spare time she is an event planner, yogi, dark chocolate lover, and spends as much time as possible with her toes in the sand.
Check out her website at thegiftoftravel.wordpress.com for more of her travel musings.